Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
