im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
no you cant smoke seaweed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You took a bar mat shot.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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