dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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