and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
