right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
