About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
