i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
