Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
