Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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