Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
