I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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