This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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