9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize