mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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