Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
