theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
