first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
