I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
