We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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