I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
