Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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