Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
