Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
