they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
