Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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