first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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