none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
