The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
