i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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