You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
