I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
