I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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