Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize