i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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