Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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