here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
