He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
