yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize