I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
