she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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