Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
love makes seman taste better
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize