I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
