take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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