So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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