Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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