the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
