ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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