ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize