I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
