his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
