I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
