No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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