The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
