My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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