The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
