There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
