Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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