i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
