I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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