I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
