I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
