I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
