Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
